I promised you all some drama and irritation around the occasion of my father-in-law’s surprise 60th birthday party, which is scheduled for Saturday the 15th, and I like to think I’m a woman of my word.G, the kids and I are on the “Ambiance Committee” of this soiree, which will be taking place in a big meeting room at the in-laws’ church. The theme is old-timey cowboys and cowgirls a la Roy Rogers & Dale Evans, which should be fun.
Of course G takes his responsibility to the ambiance very seriously, as he does with all his endeavors. In keeping with the gravity of his position, Wednesday he went down to the church to meet his Mom to survey the room and plan all the knick-knackery that will fill the space with country and western je ne sais quoi.
During this meeting, she cautioned him that he’s not allowed to affix anything to the walls or otherwise cause any damage. The first time she warned him about it was sufficient. The second time it was patronizing. The third time he had a minor stroke. When she sent him an email containing the same admonition, he responded as shown below:
Mother - You can assure everyone that I have no intention of affixing, attaching, leaning anything against or otherwise touching the walls. I can also put the boys on an armed watch and establish a barbed wire perimeter to insure no party participants touch the walls.
During this meeting, she cautioned him that he’s not allowed to affix anything to the walls or otherwise cause any damage. The first time she warned him about it was sufficient. The second time it was patronizing. The third time he had a minor stroke. When she sent him an email containing the same admonition, he responded as shown below:
Mother - You can assure everyone that I have no intention of affixing, attaching, leaning anything against or otherwise touching the walls. I can also put the boys on an armed watch and establish a barbed wire perimeter to insure no party participants touch the walls.
Care to wager about how many more wall-related warnings he’ll receive?
6 comments:
Gotta love MILs and FILs. :-)
Jen
Oh yeah...good times! :-) Today I'm supposed to find a wagon wheel and three hay bails (none of which will touch the walls, by the way). The fun never ends!
Addie
hmmm...with four notices between Wednesday and now, that's an average of 1+ per day. I think it's conceivable to reach double digits by mid-week.
Be sure there's at least a 12" separation between the wall and any decorations. Anything closer gives the illusion that at any given time the inanimate object has the chance of reaching out and touching, leaning against, and/or affixing itself to the wall.
Stephen, the mathematical potential for double-digit reminders is scaring me! Good tip on the 12" clearance with the wall, I'll pass that on to G!
Addie
No matter how old you are, or how many children or your own you have, your parents never think you have any brains in your head.
Good luck with the barbed wire perimeter. Will you have to affix it to the floor? Is that a problem or are they just worried about the walls?
Zan, you know what? I hadn't even thought about the floor, but I'm pretty sure we'll have to be careful with the commercial-grade outdated teal carpet, too. Maybe we can hang our barbed wire from the ceiling tiles?
You really hit the nail on the head about parents never thinking their kids have a brain in their heads, and your comment totally cracked me up!
Addie
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