Now that the weather has cooled down significantly, I want to share the ultimate foot warming technology that may already be right at your fingertips. First, some background on how I came about this discovery.
When I was in the Army, I came within inches of frostbite while on a bivouac on Ft. Devens, Massachusetts in December. Since that time, several of my toes go completely numb at temperatures of 60 degrees and below. Once you’ve had a cold injury (or a heat injury, for that matter), you’re much more susceptible to the same kind of injury in the future, so my toes are almost numb even as I type this.
In the Army, the preferred first aid for cold-injured feet is skin-to-skin contact, sharing body heat. Armpit body heat, to be exact. Cue the dreamy flashback music... While it sounds a little gross, I still fondly remember the times I spent next to the tent stove with my almost-frozen bare toes planted firmly in the armpits of our platoon’s bare-chested, blond haired, blue eyed Italian Adonis, Private Funicelli. I digress.
Nowadays, G neither allows me to put my tootsies under his shirt, nor does he allow me to consort with beautiful Italian men with more liberal toe-warming policies. No matter, though; I have the next best thing, and we call it The Waffle Iron. Operation instructions are listed below:
Step 1 – Adopt a retired racer and give him or her a wonderful forever home.
Step 2 – When the hound is lying down on his or her side, gently raise the back leg that is facing toward the ceiling. This is the lid of the iron.
Step 3 – Place your cold bare foot on the inner thigh of the leg that is resting on the floor. If your hound growls, you will need to quickly withdraw the foot, return to step 1 and adopt a second greyhound who will tolerate this.
Step 4 – Press the top thigh back down on top of your foot and relax as your foot quickly returns to a nice, comfortable temperature. You can almost hear it sizzle.
Kidding aside, Bruno really doesn’t seem to mind this or I wouldn’t do it. I look at this as quid pro quo; I keep him healthy, comfortable and happy, and he’s just returning the favor.
When I was in the Army, I came within inches of frostbite while on a bivouac on Ft. Devens, Massachusetts in December. Since that time, several of my toes go completely numb at temperatures of 60 degrees and below. Once you’ve had a cold injury (or a heat injury, for that matter), you’re much more susceptible to the same kind of injury in the future, so my toes are almost numb even as I type this.
In the Army, the preferred first aid for cold-injured feet is skin-to-skin contact, sharing body heat. Armpit body heat, to be exact. Cue the dreamy flashback music... While it sounds a little gross, I still fondly remember the times I spent next to the tent stove with my almost-frozen bare toes planted firmly in the armpits of our platoon’s bare-chested, blond haired, blue eyed Italian Adonis, Private Funicelli. I digress.
Nowadays, G neither allows me to put my tootsies under his shirt, nor does he allow me to consort with beautiful Italian men with more liberal toe-warming policies. No matter, though; I have the next best thing, and we call it The Waffle Iron. Operation instructions are listed below:
Step 1 – Adopt a retired racer and give him or her a wonderful forever home.
Step 2 – When the hound is lying down on his or her side, gently raise the back leg that is facing toward the ceiling. This is the lid of the iron.
Step 3 – Place your cold bare foot on the inner thigh of the leg that is resting on the floor. If your hound growls, you will need to quickly withdraw the foot, return to step 1 and adopt a second greyhound who will tolerate this.
Step 4 – Press the top thigh back down on top of your foot and relax as your foot quickly returns to a nice, comfortable temperature. You can almost hear it sizzle.
Kidding aside, Bruno really doesn’t seem to mind this or I wouldn’t do it. I look at this as quid pro quo; I keep him healthy, comfortable and happy, and he’s just returning the favor.
10 comments:
What a great idea!! I'm heading upstairs to try this technique out on Nick. I guess holding out for the good looking Italian guy isn't a realistic option :-).
Zan, I hope Nick will let you do it...it's the next best thing to Funicelli! Enjoy!
At my house, it's my cold hands right at bed time. I spread the joy: one hand per dog.
It's amazing to me that they don't seeem to mind. Another reason to love those hounds...like we needed one!
Addie, you are such a stitch with your stories! I'll definitely try this treatment for cold toes with Emma this winter. ;-)
Debbie, I'm so glad you get a kick out of my stories, and I hope the foot warming trick works for you as well as it works for me!
Addie
I do that too! :-)
Jen
Yep, my Remi is the one who does this for me in my house. Sugar, not so much, and Lucy, she just doesn't want anyone touching her. Silly dogs. But I can always count on Remi. She is a great bedwarmer as well, although I'd much prefer that hot Italian guy! If anyone knows one, please send him my way! :)
You guys are killing me! I suppose the tiny armpits of my cat would never suffice...even though I have the shoe size of a Chinese foot-bound woman from the Ming Dynasty.
Jen & Patti, I'm so glad that I'm not the only one who does this. I was afraid someone would post that I'm cruel for doing this, and I should never be allowed to have another dog...yadda yadda yadda. You know how people can be sometimes, and when you put it all out there, you risk getting smacked by the nutty stick. Anyway, Hoover doesn't let me do it, so I leave him alone. I tried it once, and he growled and snapped, so he's not a good candidate. Bruno acts almost like he doesn't notice my size seven popsicles are even touching him...he's hired!
Ashley, you're too funny...I don't think kitty pits will do the job, even on your itsy-bitsy feet. You'd need at least a small dog, but probably not a terrier. I had terriers when I was a kid and I imagine you might end up with a bloody stump where your foot used to be. Or maybe that was just the dogs I had!
Post a Comment