From the Top

Now that I'm working my way back into the swing of things after my visit with Mom & Kevin, it's time to start blogging about the experiences of the last nine days, and I'll start from the top...literally.

As you may know, I made the terribly ill-advised decision to "temporarily" dye my hair black to lend authenticity to my Halloween costume. After the gothic hue failed to wash out after the prescribed number of shampoos, it became clear that I'd have to either start listening to 9 Inch Nails (again) and shopping at Hot Topic, or I'd have to engage the help of professionals. I chose the latter, and rolled to the hairdresser last Monday morning.

After explaining my hair color indiscretion, I was informed that I had two choices: they could either bleach my entire head and then apply a corrective color (whereupon my hair might fall out), or they could try to apply some highlights (which would be unlikely to cause all-over baldness). After considering the excellent choices presented, I went with the highlights, which I've never had before, chiefly because I don't care for striped hair.

In any case, Sheila agreed that highlights were the way to go, and returned shortly bearing an ominously large bowl of a substance resembling the scouring powder slurry we used in the Army to clean grout. Although my head was swimming with fear and the smell of the Clorox paste, I noted that she also carried a box of foil strips and a brush suitable for basting a ham. After unpacking her implements and cheerfully warning me again that the highlighted strips might "fall out", she set to work applying the paste to tiny sections of hair and covering those sections with foil until I looked like the aforementioned ham.

Once my entire head was hammed out, I was left to sit. For almost an hour. As it turns out, this was ample time to notice that all the hairdressers in this salon were frosted and tipped to within an inch of their lives. It was also time enough to notice that this salon also lacked the requisite rocker-chick stylist, and was completely devoid of gay men. What kind of place was this? Was this even a real hair salon? These questions frightened me badly, but it was really too late to run screaming into the parking lot.

After 2 1/2 hours of foiling, defoiling, washing, re-coloring the bleached streaks, moussing, blowing dry and about half a can of hairspray, I emerged looking like a striped version of Marlo Thomas from That Girl, complete with a flip that swooped, defiant of gravity, from my head approximately six inches. Since my hair no longer looked like it had been styled with boot-black, and none of it had fallen out, I was thrilled, no matter how silly my new 'do.

Behold the power of lowered expectations!

10 comments:

Stephen said...

Wow...I don't know where to begin. I thought you were more of the risk-taking, take no chances (or prisoners), no holds barred, shoot first (no questions) kind of gal. You should have totally opted for the bleach and re-color. Talk about starting with a blank slate (literally, if all the hair fell out). However, seeing that we are expecting you and Garrett at the club dinner this weekend, it's probably best that you took the conservative route so as not to scare the fringe members back into the woods!

Never Say Never Greyhounds said...

Finally! I think I found a typo! I think you meant to say "completely devoid" not "completed devoid". I've been waiting for you to mess up :-).

We'd like pictures of your hair please!

Jen

Addie said...

It's funny you mentioned that, Stephen, because I actually, seriously thought about the club dinner when I made the decision. "Could I show up bald?", I wondered...never even considering the idea of not going in the event of a hair emergency. I'd hate to scare the fringe members, for crying out loud, but I wouldn't be willing to stay home, either.

Addie

PS - I'm still exactly the kind of gal you described, except where "ladybaldness" is concerned!

Addie said...

Jen, you TOTALLY busted me! That was definitely a typo - dang! Wanna know how fast I fixed it?

:-)

Addie

Alex said...

Groovy blog!
I have to admit to wanting to break out the Austin Powers' quotes, but I won't, because "There's nothing as pathetic as an aging hipster". lol
I've had both experiences:
my 14 year old daughter did the "temporary" hair color, only in RED- not auburn mind you, but fire engine, stop traffic, red. And yes, it is temporary, it only lasts until you cut it off, recolor it, or (apparently) your hair falls out lol.
And what is it with hairdressers wanting to "stripe" EVERYONE now-a-days?
My appropriate v.word? hadiss
As in, I've hadiss experience too
;-)

Zan said...

I'm with Jen, we want pictures!!

I won't be at the dinner this weekend to see your new do. It conflicts with the holiday dance at Wheeler's school (which he may not make due to a wrestling tournament that may run late.) Either way, I've got kid, er teenager, duty. Just so you know, Addie's hair (on or off her head) didn't scare me away. Y'all have fun and drink a glass of wine for me!!

Jen- Thanks for not commenting on the many typos in my posts. Secretly I love it though, Addie's so darn perfect ;-)!!

Poolie said...

+1 for a picture. So what do Garrett think?

Addie said...

Ok, y'all...I'll get a picture up as soon as I can. I'm sure there are some in the camera that will suit the purpose.

As for Garrett, how's this for a compliment, "You're dark brindle now!"

So Alex, I think those hairdressers really just want to "brindle" everyone!

Addie

Debbie (Emma's mom) said...

Brindles are adorable! ...put up pictures soon...

Leslie said...

The hair was a first for me, my daughter with a brindle colored hair style. It was just sooo "doligne." My v. word for this post. Lori, your hair looked nice, really !

I believe doligne means darling spoken by someone with a mouth full of marbles. ;-)