Excuse me, do you know what a thermocoupler is? How about a gas control valve? Do you own a variety of wrenches, vice-grips, and maybe even a toolbelt? If you answered yes to these questions, can you come over to my house...right now?As I mentioned in the earlier complain-a-thon that barely passed as a post, my water heater is busted, broken, and/or beat down in some way. G, in his admirable, self-sufficient way, has decided to attempt to fix it. All by himself. Earlier I thought I smelled gas; turns out it was just testosterone. No need to call the fire department after all (although I do love firemen!).
In the last three hours, he's removed the old thermocoupler, and installed a new one. Throughout the process, he instructed me as a surgeon to a scrub nurse in some old movie, "Flashlight! Q-tips! Mirror!" I was just waiting for him to ask for a 10 blade and forceps when he announced that the thermocoupler was not defective after all.
"It must be the damn gas control valve...damn! Lowe's closes in 30 minutes, you coming with me?". I didn't really want to go, but the question was rhetorical, so off we went.
Once we got to Lowe's, he walked at such a pace that I jogged behind him, and still spent the majority of the trip staring at his back and wondering how he could walk so fast. "It must be that eight inch difference in the old inseam", I thought, making myself giggle with unspoken dirty jokes related to measurements and inseams. Feel free to make up a few of your own before reading on...fun, isn't it?
Upon returning home, G walked through the door and said to Bruno, "Bruno, old buddy, I sure wish you could plumb." To which I quipped, "He sure wishes you could, too." It was not well received by the first audience, so I hope you'll all get more out of it than G did.
In any case, I'll summarize by saying that I've heard more explitives, seen more of G's crack, and fetched more odd household items in the last few hours than you could imagine. After all this, the gas control valve didn't work either, something about the thermal coupling switch, so I guess now we should call the manufacturer on Monday, explain the myriad ways in which we've voided the warranty, and hope they'll still help us.
Well, Viriginia, is there really a Santa Claus? I guess we'll find out Monday.
6 comments:
Brings to mind the several scenes from The Christmas Story where Ralphie's old man would be down in the basement yelling an unintelligible cloud of profanity while trying to fix the boiler.
Hey, don't you know not to call anybody on Monday morning with a problem. Do you remember your Dad's way of thinking, was if you call on Friday everyone is thinking about what they are going to do on the week-end. On Monday they are to hung-over to think at all. There might be a hidden message there.. Have a happy "recosa" that is my v. word for this comment.
OMG - it IS JUST LIKE A Christmas Story! How will I not laugh if the repair attempts continue throughout the weekend (and I suspect they will!)?
Mom, hung over or not, somebody HAS to help with this on Monday. With the weather being as cold as it is, the water comes out of the tap ice cold, which aside from the showers, does a crummy job on the dishes. So far G is the only one spewing profanity, but the rest of us aren't far behind him. BRRR!
Addie
Hot showers for all at my house! I laughed out loud at this post...Bruno wishes G could plumb too--ha!
Thankfully, after many scenes that that played out exactly as you described, Rob has learned that sometimes it's easier and cheaper to call someone who knows what the h@#l they are doing in the first place. An episode during which Rob attempted to replace a toilet comes to mind. Over the years, we've acquired quite a collection of tools purchased for a DIY repair that no one in our house has any idea how to actually use.
Here's hoping G has gotten warm water flowing or that you can find a plumber Monday!! Cold showers are the pits.
I know this is all very unfortunate and all but I just can't help but to giggle while reading this. You are way too hilarious! Seriously though, I hope that, by now, you are *with* hot water.
By the way, my v word is untsver. What eaxctly is an "unt" and why are we saving it?
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