I’m not sure if you all know just how lucky you are. After all, it’s been over 10 days since I’ve posted a word about what comes out of my hounds’ butts. Well, all good things must come to an end, my friends.
Maybe it’s all the excitement we’ve had around here lately, but these guys have been gassy. I’m inclined to say it’s related to an upset in their routines, because the last time anything this foul assaulted my nostrils was when we first brought Bruno home. Sure, I’ve been feeding them yogurt, but they just keep on letting it rip.
Since I work from home, there’s really no respite from the wicked stank. Hoover’s tush is repeating like a Howitzer, and Bruno’s booty is blowing like Old Faithful. I feel like I’m trapped in a phone booth with the star of “4th Meal Me”, the follow-up documentary to “Supersize Me”, in which someone eats only Taco Bell for a month. Smells like day 29, I’d say.
Seriously, a hot dumpster would smell refreshing in comparison, and I think there’s a hole in the ozone layer forming directly above my house. I’m not sure if this headache is garden-variety or methane poisoning, and I’ve reached the point where my fight or flight response is activated every time I hear that subtle little “pfffftt”. If someone in Atlanta did canine colonics, we’d be the first in line.
Since the yogurt isn’t working, I’m giving this 48 hours and we’re going to the vet. If that doesn’t work, I’m moving out of this stink box. Anybody have a couch to spare?
8 comments:
You can come stay with me! If, of course, you promise to never, ever, ever write more than a paragraph about dog farts again. Please!
Now is the time to eat whatever you want and blame the results on the dogs!
You can come stay with me, I miss you so much. I guess we all left about the right time before the eruption at your abode.
You don't want to come here...I have my own hole in the ozone layer...what is up with this?
About half way through reading your post... sniff, sniff. I can almost smell it from here! Turns out Drew (aka sir farts a lot) who's sitting on a dog bed next to me let an SBD sneak out. I guess that's what Emeril Lagasse means when he talks about smell-a-vision.
I'll get Wheeler to dig up the link for the gas mask he was thinking of ordering for next years Halloween costume. sounds like you need it more than he does.
Well, that stinks, doesn't it? :-)
In cases like these it is important to use your good "scents", and hopefully you will have no more problems in the end.
OK, I'll stop now.
You guys are too funny! I'm pleased to report that the biological warfare drill appears to be over. Yay...maybe I can spare you all this kind of post for a while!
Addie
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