The First of the Year

Well, ladies and gents, Happy New Year! May 2009 bring each of you nothing but the best. If you're the resolution-making type, I wish you luck, willpower, and the determination to make your resolutions come true. As for me, I'm going to work on eating better food, drinking more tea and slightly less booze, and hunting down the community newspaper delivery folks and cussing them out brutally. Ambitious, isn't it?

Maybe another realistic resolution would be to make future posts more singularly topical, but I can't promise that for you today. As I've been wont to do recently, I'm going to cover two different subjects, starting with a The Mystery of My Good Jeans.

Some background: Like most people, I have a couple of pairs of jeans that I prefer above the others in my closet. What differentiates these jeans is that they fit properly, and I don't feel like a complete 'tard wearing them. Incidentally, both these pair are Lucky jeans, which is why I only have two. In any case, I can't find either pair, which means either that they've been vaporized by some malevolent force seeking to enslave me, or they've been put away in someone else's closet. Everyone here denies possession of my good jeans, which certainly warrants some investigation, but in the meantime, I've started wearing the kids' jeans. I imagine they'll have more motivation to sort this out when they realize that they've only got shorts clean and ready for school on Tuesday. I'll keep you posted.

And now for something completely different, I have to share one of the funny, no...HILARIOUS gifts I received from my SIL for Christmas, a lovely book called Porn for Women. Wait...don't go...it's not what you think! This is a book with pictures of good-looking CLOTHED men doing various household tasks with appropriate captions sure to be a turn-on to most gals. An example: Photo: Man putting on gloves wielding a spray bottle of window cleaner...Caption: "I really prefer to get to these things before I have to be asked.". I can't do it justice here, so suffice it to say that I almost peed my pants reading this book.

Correction: I almost peed one of the kid's pants reading this book.

Happy New Year, y'all!

4 comments:

Zan said...

Happy New Year Addie!!

I hope you find your jeans soon. At my house nothing ever reappears from the wasteland that is Wheeler's room - so good luck:-)!

Kevin said...

Happy New Year, sis! Good luck finding your good jeans. I'm wearing one of my fave pairs now, so I know what you're talking about. Also, I've seen the book, and coming from the male perspective it's just not that funny. You may feel free to think otherwise.

Love,
Kevin

Never Say Never Greyhounds said...

Omigod, that has to be the funniest book ever :-). Good luck finding your jeans. I lose all my clothes. This summer I lost a cute SEGA shirt, a nice T-shirt with Travis pics on it, nice pair of shorts, and a favorite fleece. Gone without a trace..... no idea.

Jen

KF-in-Georgia said...

Around here, unless I can accuse Sam of having eaten it (and surely it would have turned up in his poop), anything that's gone missing is my own damned fault.

Unless there are elves...