You know what I'm in the mood for (besides ending a sentence with a preposition, that is)? A big, obnoxious, politically incorrect booze-fueled rant-post, that's what.
Here's the problem: I'm drawing a blank on what to rant about (another preposition!). So, in the interest of avoiding some boring radio silence, I'm taking suggestions. You name it, I'll rant about it. Trust me, this is better than the alternatives I've dreamed up so far.
Seriously, do you REALLY want to read a detailed treatise on why Otto Von Crapp's engine light is lit? Are you interested in my opinions on how drinking commercially prepared milk has contributed to 50% of 8 year-old-boys having titties like strippers? I'm warning you...it could get pretty boring.
So, let's make it simple. If you think of a topic that would be suitable for rant, be a pal and post it in a comment. Over the weekend, I promise to booze it up and get posting, and I'll cover every suggestion submitted by the end of the day on Friday. It can be anything, political, social, just so long as it's not BORING. I think that last post under the influence was a real humdinger, so I think this could be a win-win!
Come on, folks, help a sister out (look, I did it again!)!
15 comments:
I would be more than happy to help my sister out.
The first rant I'd like is one pertaining to the weather in Tucson. Yes, I want someone to complain on my behalf about waking up to below freezing temps only to have it be 72 a mere eight hours later.
Secondly, I'd like to hear (or read, rather) some ranting about the idiocy of postponing the switch to digital broadcasting because some people who still use bunny ears (myself included) haven't gotten their stinkin' coupons yet. I'd like it noted that I was way ahead of the power curve on that one.
Documents submitted for approval without solid proofreading (I know you'll get into that one).
Text rich websites.
People who put periods at the end of things that aren't sentences.
Finally, tiny, yippy dogs. I apologize in advance to any pro-yippy dog blog readers for my sister's vitriolic thoughts on the subject.
If I come up with any more, I'll be sure to let you know.
Love,
Kevin
PS: Thank you for allowing me to blog without having to actually make the effort to write things.
How about voters being required to have a basic understanding of economics before they vote.
People who constantly repeat a dog's name over and over again. Would you really talk to a person like that? And especially my dogs, you have their attention, stop asking for it! (I'm afraid the lady I'm talking about will read my blog :-)
Lastly, how about folks in Tucson complaining about 72 degrees! Geees, do you want it packaged and tied with a ribbon? (Just had to pick on you Kevin:-). And look I just used a period at the end of a non-sentence and I'm forgetting to put a period after this one I'm still teasing you Kevin
:-) Jen
These are great ideas! Kevin, I'll do my best to rant about the wild temperature swings you've got, but it is hard to sympathize when the day winds up at 72. I'll try, and then I'll turn it around for you, Jen, and I'll complain about people complaining about that kind of weather. :-)
Kevin, if you can send me a link as an example of a text rich website you'd like to see destroyed, that'll be helpful.
Thanks to you both; this going to be fun! If anyone else has a topic they'd like to have added to the list, you have until the end of the day Friday.
Addie
I would like to hear your opinions on why childrens' toys (Bratz) made-up like little whores are marketed to my 4 year old. Self image issues anyone?
word verification hilariousness: nudlin (when spoken with a southern accent, it's that catfish catchin' strategy from Louisiana.)
comcast.
bellsouth/att rates vs. vonage
I do like the idea of ranting about the milk issue. We are organic here.
Idiocy of Georgia public schools....
Ken Nugent...
Customer service and the youth population....
Disgusting produce sold as fresh at Kroger....
High fructose corn syrup...
bioidentical estrogen....
being charged for parking at a medical facility....
I'll think of more, don't worry.
I HAD TO RUSH BACK WITH THIS RANT RECOMMENDATION. My blood pressure is shooting thru the roof as I think of it....
I freakin' hate when anyone outside of my immediate family calls me "Mom", as in...(stranger) "Mom, you stand right here." "Mom, do you have the information we mailed you about Victor/Ava?" "Ok, Mom, just wait right there." AAARRRRRGGGGGG! My name is NOT MOM, you idiot! I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER. (thank God) Whew. Ok, easy now, easy.....
OMG...you're all hitting on all cylinders! This may turn into a series of posts.
Bosslady, you know how I feel about prosti-toys, and I'll be glad to lambaste them thoroughly.
Maria, I'm glad you added that bit about being called Mom, because that sends me into a psychotic rage. On the subject of the bioidentical hormone replacement, I'm barely holding myself back from starting that rant RIGHT NOW. This is one of my issues, and I've written to Congress, the Senate, and the White House on this one. Hell yeah I've got ammunition on this! I'll also go ahead and talk about the milk, since that's another one of my pet issues.
Geez, I wish I'd done this sooner. What fabulous ideas you all have!!
Hi Addie, I found your blog from Alex, I hope you don't mind that I am here.
It looks like everybody is talking about the weather. My hubby said this is by far the coldest winter in decade or more so. It is my first winter here. I came from the East.
People who buy cheap, scratchy toilet paper for their guest bathrooms.
People with retractable leashes who let their dog run up and stick their nose in your dog's face. Then they say, "he's very friendly." Meanwhile, my dog is either exploding or coming very close to a melt down and weeks of hard work have been undone. Would they like it if I stuck my nose in their face?
Any discussion that contains the words bailout and to big too fail. I know, and old topic, but it seems to keep coming up. Haven't we already given a few billion to all the large companies in the USA?
So far I have 24 topics for my rant. Don't worry, I'll be merciful and split it up into different posts!
Addie, remember that show, "Connections"...I think it would be funny to rant about all suggestions in one post, finding the connections between each...but it may not be as fulfilling.
Flexi-leash...forgot about THAT ONE!! I've gone from the polite, "my dog is NOT friendly" to "my dog may attack yours, please control your dog".
Wow, coming in on the end of this is going to be tough because many of my rants have been mentioned. I'll probably even commit one or two of the grammatical rants myself. Being a programmer probably 80% of what I type on a daily basis only vaguely resembles the English language... so work with me :-)
Several of my favorite rants pertain to idiots in their cars:
- People who rush to the front of a merging line and try to break in. Shooting you on the spot should be legal.
- Anything related to driving and cell phones.
- People who don't understand the rules of a 4-way stop. Ever have one or more people pull up to the stop at roughly the same time? Odds are good they have a cell phone it their ear and a 'deer in the head lights' look on their face because they're clueless who goes first.
- People who turn a flashing yellow light into a 4-way stop.
- People who don't know what that lever sticking out of the left-hand side of their steering column is for (blinkers).
The list goes on and on and on...
Maria,
Garth says "Don't warn them if they are that stupid to let their dog wander on the end of a flexi-leash ! Your secret is safe with me!"
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