Six Things People Don’t Know About Me

This feature is a little something that’s been going around in the SEGA/SECG blog ring, and I’m considering myself tagged by Maria, who tagged anyone who hasn’t been tagged yet. So, without further ado, Six Things People Don’t Know About Me:

1. I Was a Russian Linguist in the Army. I shipped out to Basic Training at Ft. Jackson, SC the day after I graduated high school, and studied Russian at the Defense Language Institute for 47 weeks. I arrived not knowing Cyrillic from Saran Wrap, and left pretty well able to hold my own. Incidentally, I also sang in the смелый российский хор, which is translated into the Brave Russian Choir, and pronounced Smelly Russki Whore. My singing career in the Army was short, but I served on active duty for 4 years, and also served 1 year in the Army Reserve.

2. I Worked as a Telephone Psychic in College, and yes, it’s fake! After leaving the Army, I stayed at home with the kids for a while before going back to college and undertook my undergrad degree when Jared was in kindergarten and Tyler was four years old. In any case, I fell into this strange vocation by answering an ad for work that could be done at home. When the woman who interviewed me explained the position was for a telephone psychic, I told her I would have to pass on the job because I don’t have psychic abilities, and she snorted, “Oh honey, that doesn’t matter!”. Want me to read your tea leaves?

3. Sometimes I Can Hear You, Sometimes I Can’t. A couple of days before my 32nd birthday, I woke up almost completely deaf in my left ear with an obnoxious roar in my right ear and an almost complete loss of balance. As it turns out, the condition is called Meniere’s Disease, and was not a brain tumor as I was originally told was most probable. One of the features of Meniere’s is that the hearing loss fluctuates, so some days I can hear more than others. In any case, it beats the hell out of a brain tumor, but you might want to stand on my right when you talk to me.

4. I’m a Language Snob. When I hear people say we live in a “doggie dog” world, or that they are “enamored with” (instead of enamored of) something, it makes me cringe. I could give a lot of examples, but my least favorite is when someone uses the term “gold standard” incorrectly (i.e., “This carpet is the gold standard of acrylic shag.”). For the record, the gold standard is the economic principle that states that a government should circulate an amount of currency that is equivalent to the amount of gold held in reserve. It has nothing to do with tires, carpet, cars, or jewelry, for that matter. There! I feel so much better now.

5. I Can Do Ridiculous Things With My Toes. I can pick things up, spread them out an incredible amount, and I can move the pinkie toe and the big man independently. I’ll be glad to show you, much to my family’s chagrin!

6. I’m Aware That I Don’t Have a Tan. I feel another rant coming on here, but please bear with me. I’ll never figure out why people need to point out to me that I’m pale. My favorite phrase is, “Wow, your legs are so bright…I need my sunglasses!”. If you have ever said this to anyone, there’s a strong possibility that you, Sir or Madam, are a colossal toolbox. No one would ever THINK of saying to someone of a different ethnic background, “Oh, it’s so dark in here, get me a flashlight.” It’s just as ignorant to point out that someone is pale, and it makes me crazy!

Well, that’s it for me. I tag Ashley and anyone who is still lurking who hasn’t done this.