It Never Hurts to Ask

I found out tonight just how vivid Garrett's imagination is when I called today to ask about his plans for coming home from work.

(Ring...ring...)

Him: Speak, woman.

Me: (Not taking the bait) What's the deal on you coming home tonight?

Him: Well, I'd like to come home and find the kids on the driveway holding crossed swords above their heads for me to walk under. Oh, and the dogs should be standing out there on their hind legs in a gesture of welcome.

Me: That's very imaginative...

Him: Yeah, and you should be there too, wearing holsters with a cold beers in them.

AFTER A SHORT PAUSE HE ADDED...

and you should also have a bowl on your head and it should be full of buffalo wings.

(END SCENE)

Good thing I'm not a huge feminist, huh?