The Girliest Idea My Husband Has Ever Had

When I say this is the girliest idea Garrett has ever had, that's really saying something. I submit the following for your consideration:

• He's a degreed Interior Designer...
• He loves to shop for clothing and decor items...
• and he's been known to wear a silk shirt to a barbecue.

Aside from these certified lady traits, he's a manly man, really. He can fix a car, build furniture, repair plumbing. He doesn't care that his ear canals look like pubic Chia pets, and he thinks it's hilarious when he finds a nugget of lint in his navel. He loves meat, potatoes, and beer.

It's this love of beer (fancy, exotic beer, I might add) that has given birth to the titular Girliest Idea My Husband Has Ever Had, presented here in dialogue for full dramatic effect.

Him: "I think I'm going to start collecting beer labels."

Me (skeptically): "What are you going to do with a bunch of beer labels?"

Him (defensively): "I'm going to mount them in a book with acid free paper and make notes about each one. What I liked, what I didn't like..."

Me (interrupting rudely): "You know what that is, right?"

Him (bracing for it): "No, what is it?"

Me (triumphantly): "That's a lame attempt at heterosexual scrapbooking!"

(END SCENE. FADE TO BLACK.)

Not that it really matters what we call it, but semantics are important to Garrett. When the boys were small and someone gave them any sort of stuffed animal or doll, he always called them action figures.

In the interest of marital bliss, I'll try to restrain myself from calling it scrapbooking...but you and I know better, don't we?