The Time Machine

Has it been long enough, or just entirely too long?

I feel like I've been in some crazy time machine, and it's almost impossible to believe that it's been 18 months since my last confession. Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.

Lots of things have happened since the last post. When I say a lot, I'm not kidding.

Jared has graduated high school and spent the last year and a half wasting every minute on girls, booze, chewing tobacco, and any other imaginable trappings trailer park opulence. He has also, in that time, joined the Marine Corps, and is currently enjoying his 2nd week on beautiful Parris Island. I understand the bugs are particularly juicy this time of year.

Tyler is a senior this year, and he's enjoying the easy schedule that comes along with it and looking for a job that suits his skills, which include arm wrestling, pie-eating, video gaming, and watching football. If you know anyone who would like to hire such a young man, please contact me. Immediately.

Garrett is still cool, and I'm still a trophy wife.

A trophy wife with a new job, that is! I started a new position in July and now I'm managing a team of offshore recruiters in India. I love this gig...and get ready for this...drumroll, please! I'm going to India in October for two weeks to train my troops, and I'm so very excited. Stay tuned for updates on my upcoming trip; I promise not to wait 18 months to tell you about it.

By the way, I still have that Effing Car, Auto Von Crapp. Auto is paid off and will continue to vex me until my desire to drive something other than rolling poo exceeds my desire to save my pennies. Keep waiting, folks....Garrett, that means you!

Now that we're all caught up, I'll resume the regularly scheduled silliness and observational humor in the next post. If you're still reading, thanks for hanging in there!