Can't Wait for This Week!

Why? Because it's going to be AMAZING.  Here's what's going to happen:
  • Through the power of positive thinking, I will lose 8 pounds this week while eating whatever I want, AND my hair is going to look great everyday.
  • My backlog of work, which would probably congest the administrative facilities of a small island nation, will yield to the slightest of efforts, falling away like a prom dress at 1:00am,
  • The mountain of laundry on my bedroom floor will somehow magically wash, fold, and iron itself,
  • Lighting bolts of positivity and enthusiasm are going to shoot out of my ass with the force of an intercontinental ballistic missile,
  • Hell, I might even grow a few inches!!
Honestly, I'm pretty sure this week is probably going to be another marathon, and I have got to get a handle on my to-do list, which at last glance was one and a half pages long.  Unfortunately, it's college ruled paper, mind you.

Seriously, though, I am trying to be positive about the days ahead.  I have no idea how it is that I'm always behind, except that I must get some kind of thrill out of biting off more than I can chew.  The idea that I'm addicted to the martyrdom of all-nighter and work-life imbalance is surely not palatable, making me sound...well, imbalanced. 

I need therapy, don't I?  I'm pretty sure they must have some mystical analytical tradition in India that would help me overcome it (if not, I know for a fact they at least have scotch!).  Geez, leave it to me to fabricate a mental disorder out of simple disorganization, and use that as an excuse to go drinking in India.  No matter how I think of it, all roads lead to India. 

Get Busy Living

No news isn't always good news, is it?  Permission to speak freely, respected blog-o-sphere.

2011 has completely, totally sucked, with notably few exceptions.  What's more, the promise of lingering suckage through at least the end of the 3rd quarter is providing a kind of suspenseful dread usually reserved for slasher movies. 

But you didn't really think I'd bore you with a litany of complaints, did you?  Come on, I know it's been too long, but I'm not that kind of gal, am I?  Because if I am, I guess I should resign myself to a hell populated with similarly annoying people who stage endless monologues about their irritable bowels, mother issues, and cellulite.  Say it isn't so!

No, if I'm going to bore ANYONE under ANY circumstances, my topic of choice will be my travels to India and the incredible people, sights, shopping and food there.  In fact, in the face of a 2011 that (like the famous Dyson vacuum) "never loses suction", all I can think of is how much I want to chuck it all, pack my bags, grab my dogs and move to India.  Forever.

Ladies and Gents, this is not an easy sell to a man who loves Dr. Pepper, peanut butter, and beef.  Some days, he seems totally into the idea; other days, he acts like I'm mentioning for the first time that I want to amputate my right arm and replace it with a prosthetic carved out of cucumber.  Of course we'd have to sell the house, sell the business, figure out endless logistics (you know, like a job in India for yours truly), and generally jump backwards through flaming hoops to make this happen.  As if that weren't enough, we'd also have to adjust to a totally new lifestyle, social standards, climate, food, and procedures for doing every single damn thing that anyone does in daily life.

You know what?  That sounds a hell of a lot like learning, growing, and flat-out living.  Remember Shawshank Redemption?  My favorite quote of all time comes from Red, Morgan Freeman's character, when he tells Andy, "Guess it comes down to a simple choice really.  Get busy living, or get busy dying.".